The Everyday Icon Style Podcast

Episode 187: When Your Wardrobe No Longer Matches Who You Are Becoming

• Tiffany Howard

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Standing in front of a closet full of clothes yet feeling like you have "nothing to wear" isn't just frustrating, it's a signal that you're evolving faster than your wardrobe. That disconnect happens to all of us at pivotal moments in life, that we rarely talk about it.

When you're promoted, change careers, or experience significant personal growth, your identity shifts but your closet often stays frozen in time. You might have "two to three, maybe even four versions" of yourself hanging in your wardrobe, leaving you feeling like you're playing dress-up in someone else's clothes. 

Ready to stop feeling stuck in that uncomfortable in-between stage? Download my free guide "Why Your Wardrobe Feels Off"  https://the-executive-edge.kit.com/cae1222057

Podcast Episode Mentioned

Episode 184 Why You Can’t Define Your Style

Episode 185 Beyond Vague Style Words





Speaker 1:

This is the Everyday Icon Style Podcast the space for style-conscious, career-driven women who are ready to look like the next-level version of themselves. Each episode helps you build a wardrobe that reflects not only your executive presence but your real life. With a little bit of guidance, intentional edits and no full-blown transformation required, let's elevate your style and your authenticity one outfit at a time. I'm Tiffany, your style coach. Let's elevate your style and your authenticity one outfit at a time. I'm Tiffany, your style coach. Let's get started.

Speaker 1:

Have you ever felt like, when you start to get dressed, or even when you go shopping, that what you're looking for or what you have in your closet, it just no longer matches who you are? You feel uncomfortable with it. Well, in today's episode, I'm going to be diving into a moment that all of us face or have faced at one point or another, and that's when your wardrobe no longer matches who you are or who you are evolving into and becoming. I want you to picture this and see if you say yes to any of this. You'll open up your closet to get dressed and, instead of feeling inspired or confident, you feel absolutely nothing. Actually, you do feel something. It's like very blah. There's nothing that piques your interest in your wardrobe and even getting dressed is no longer fun or a joy or a peace that it actually should be fun or a joy or a peace that it actually should be. And what this is actually is that you have no longer have a connection with the clothes in your closet, or actually even just your closet in general, because to me, I feel that they're all one thing and your closet houses your extension of actually who you are.

Speaker 1:

Now, the clothes that are in your closet and I like to always say that you probably have about two to three, maybe even four versions of yourself hanging in your closet and you're always trying to piece outfits together, but it always seems disjointed or not right. Even though the colors may go, it still doesn't give you that extra zhuzh or confidence that you're always looking for or need or peace or fun in your wardrobe anymore, and what they are is. It's your signal of saying, or you not not paying attention to the signal of my closet has not evolved the way I have Now. We will do everything else under the sun when it, when we begin to evolve, we'll get a new place, we'll get a new car, we'll get a new job, we'll get a new circle of friends, but we never think about evolving our wardrobe at all and because of that, we always feel just very uncomfortable because of not the clothes, because the clothes are actually fine, they're great, but they are just no longer.

Speaker 1:

You. And this is a conversation I think that is not had enough or, matter of fact, not had at all, and it is something that needs to be had when we're actually trying to determine what our next level style is, because it's more than just clothes identity and growth into the next level, you. And then 20% of clothing, because your growth, your identity, all of that has to take place before you can actually do clothes, and the clothes piece is just a small piece but can actually make a huge impact is tying everything together. So if you're in an uncomfortable in-between space and I'm here to say I am then today's episode is definitely designed as an invitation and to give you the okay and to give you the permission to evolve your wardrobe. So first we have to recognize the disconnect. So let's start with that feeling of I have nothing to wear and fun. It should not feel like you're playing dress up in somebody else's closet and technically you are, because I always like to say you have about two to three, maybe even four different versions of yourself in the closet. So, in essence, you are playing dress up, but an old version of you closet and not the new, updated version of U-Closet.

Speaker 1:

Now this can happen when you've grown past a certain stage and age, whether it be your personal life, even in your career, as you're going to the next level and getting promotions but your wardrobe never catches up to you, and I think that is one thing that we never do. We will upgrade everything else, but we'll never update our wardrobe. Even in when our head and in our mind and our inner voice is saying I think we need to do something different with our wardrobe, we will literally ignore it and keep going on about our day. But whatever the reason that you're feeling this disconnect about your clothes no longer reflecting your evolution, the key is not to ignore that feeling, and this is one of the feelings that we'll just brush off because we've never been taught to acknowledge and face this particular feeling that we have, and it's about saying you know what? I need something new. So if you've ever felt that and everything else seems fine, it's probably this with your clothes, and sometimes, because we've never been taught this, we don't even know to look for it. But instead of forcing yourself to keep wearing what no longer fits your current identity, I need you to acknowledge it as a sign that you're entering into your new chapter, in your next level version. So you have to be able to accept that and then we'll be able to go into reframing what we like to call, or what we feel, as the wardrobe crisis.

Speaker 1:

Now you may look at this moment and think, oh my God, there is, this is going to be crazy expensive. I have to do this huge overhaul, which is going to be extremely overwhelming and just so time consuming and, tiffany, I don't have the time. But I want us to begin to shift and change our perspective on this wardrobe crisis. It's not a crisis per se, but it's actually your own style evolution, but it just feels like a crisis. But I want you to think about it. When you're promoted right, when you change careers or when you grow in confidence, you don't see that as a problem. You see that as a great level of achieving something. You've achieved a goal, you've accomplished it, you feel great and you're going to go out and celebrate. So, but how about our wardrobe should get the exact same treatment as a new job, going on a vacation, doing all the things that you've set out to do.

Speaker 1:

But there does instead come more of a mourning, so to speak, a grief, around the old clothes, because you're getting frustrated and you ask who the hell am I becoming and how can my wardrobe support that? And I want you to begin to ask yourself that question. You are going to mourn yourself. There are going to be pieces where you are going to have to let go of, where you will try to hold on to them for sentimental reasons or just the reasons of you know what. I can wear that Let me just lose 20 pounds, or I'm going to wear that I'll just go get it tailored, or I can just go get it. No, I just want you to let it go. I just want you to begin to let it go and to be okay with mourning the clothes, because they are attached to an old version of you and they are the last piece of letting go of the old version of you, and when we begin to see it and change it to that point of view, I think it will then become a little bit easier and we don't have to get rid of everything at once, because I know it can be overwhelming. It takes the pressure off of and makes the process feel exciting as opposed to stressful, because I understand it.

Speaker 1:

Cleaning out your closet is stressful. Trying to figure out your new clothes and your wardrobe and your own signature style. Again, it's going to feel stressful and even overwhelming. And you're not losing your style, because it has nothing to do with style. Instead, you're just going to refine it. So now, how do you even start or get started to do this? Well, I'm glad you asked.

Speaker 1:

So here are a few steps to start your actual evolving process. One I want you to audit your closet honestly. I want you to pull out all the pieces you never reach for and ask yourself why? Is it the fit? Is it the color? Or does it simply not represent the version of you now? These clothes may have served you once or twice, but that doesn't mean they belong future. Next, I want you to identify what your next level style cues. I want you to think about your future self. What does she look like walking into a room? Is she minimalist? Is she bold? Is she reserved? Is she chic? Once you can visualize it. You'll have a roadmap of this and I also did a few podcast episodes back the last three, telling you how you can even create your style words and I'll put those episodes in the description box of this episode so you can go back also and take a look at, because they will also help you in this process.

Speaker 1:

So after that, I want you then to make small, intentional shifts. You don't have to throw everything out right now. Right now, maybe it's just updating your go-to blazer, replacing an outdated handbag or introducing one or two colors that feel more aligned with your current energy, because small changes can create momentum without overwhelming you. So pause, here's a quick story. I was scrolling through TikTok, um, maybe a few days ago, and I saw this young man have on a white tank top, a pair of jeans, a pair of loafers. He had on a baseball hat, but what caught my eye was a silk scarf that he had tied in his belt loop on the side of his pants. I said, oh, I like that, because that is a detail and that is also one little thing that I can begin to incorporate when I wear jeans. I can go maybe buy one or two silk scarves that I can play around with, and the next time I wear a pair of jeans, I can just tie it on, maybe get a white a nicer white t-shirt than what I have or blouse, or whatever, and just add that piece of touch of just tying it to my belt loop and letting it hang and drape on the side. That's a small shift and a small change that could probably make a huge difference just in my style and look. So I want you to be sure to always have fun with it.

Speaker 1:

Next, I want you to curate a versatile core. Now, I always say I need you to create two versatile cores, so I'm going to explain that right now. The first one is going to be your traditional essential pieces that you always see the checklist for. They are your capsule wardrobe and it's sort of two capsule wardrobes. But let me further on. I want you to have your classic pieces, the ones that you're going to spend. These are going to be quality pieces, not quantity pieces.

Speaker 1:

Next, I want you to create a capsule wardrobe of your must-have pieces. So, for example, for me, I need blazer, I need a silk blouse, I need a cotton button-down, I need a black pant, I need a motorcycle jacket, I need a pair of fly classic black heels, for example. There are two different things Now. Will some of that overlap? Yes, but then it may be. For you it may be. I always need to have graphic t-shirts. I may need to have I don't know a four or five bad pair of tennis shoes because you're a sneakerhead. So because you're a sneakerhead, so because you're a sneaker head, you need tennis shoes are a part of your staple. That is what I mean by creating the classic one and then also having your personal capsule wardrobe that is for you, and both of these capsule wardrobes will be able to mix and match effortlessly together. And then, while you have this, playing with different textures and different silhouettes and dealing with different styles you're able to mix and match with ease and have fun with creating and this is probably going to help you with long-term building your signature style. So have you and create not one, but two versatile core capsule wardrobes. Most importantly, I want you to give yourself permission and this is probably the first important step not to be talked about first but last, because you have to allow yourself to grow in your style. Have fun.

Speaker 1:

What has been dying or inside of you that has been trying to get out that screams so loud, but you seem to push that to the background or deep down inside because people might look at you strange, it might not make sense to other people, but what if it's fly? What if it is who you are? And I think when we don't listen to ourselves and listen to what other people say, listen to what social media is saying, we have taken the personality out of personal style. Let's bring the personality back, because that is what's going to ultimately make you shine above the rest and not be cookie cutter, as if they say, when you're looking through developments and looking for places to live, everything looks the same. It's the same thing with your style. You need to have your personality and allow and give yourself the permission and the freedom to evolve and to change and bring out what it is that you may have been putting off or just putting to the background for a very long time.

Speaker 1:

So if today's conversation is hitting close to home and you're realizing, as I'm having this conversation with you, that your wardrobe just doesn't feel like you anymore, I've created something to actually help get you started with that and it's called why your wardrobe feels off, and it is my free guide to you that walks you through the exact reasons why your clothes no longer feel aligned, and giving you questions and steps on how to create your personal style. Your three words what that looks like. As far as what items do you need. Asking you deeper questions than what color do you like? How do you want to feel? There is more into that and it's more intentional, and that link will be in the description box below of this episode because, guess what? It is the perfect next step if you're ready to stop feeling stuck in that in-between stage and to begin moving forward towards a wardrobe that actually supports who you are becoming. And the link is in the description of this episode. So go grab yours right now.

Speaker 1:

So, in closing, the next time you stand in front of your closet and feel like there's nothing feels like you at all, it's not a failure you haven't failed but I want you to see it as a signal that you're growing and that your wardrobe is simply waiting to catch up with the person that you're becoming. And if you're ready to take that first step, don't forget, of course, to grab my why your Wardrobe Feels Off, and it's linked in the show notes and will give you your practical insights to actually start aligning your style with who you are now and who you are becoming. So I want to thank you, as always, for spending this time with me today, because you could be doing anything else. And if you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe and share it with friends who might be in the same season as the rest of us. And until next time, I want you to remember evolving your style is evolving your story.